The Dream Unfolds Read online

  He did agree, though, that Jill was a concern. “Does she ask you questions about what we do?”

  “Surface ones, like where we ate and what we had for dinner.”

  “Do you think she accepts me?” He knew that Jill liked him, and remembered all too clearly the permission she’d given him to date Chris. But that had been before he’d started doing it. Faced with the reality of having someone to compete with for her mother’s time, she might have had second thoughts.

  Chris moved her hand through the hair on his chest. “She accepts you as someone I have a good time with on the weekends.”

  “But not as my lover?”

  “She doesn’t know you are.”

  “You think.”

  After a minute, she admitted, “I think.”

  “Maybe you should tell her. You’re young. You’re healthy. You’re an adult. You have every right to want to be with a man.”

  “I’m supposed to set an example for her.”

  The sound of that gave Gideon a chill. He drew her closer to ward it off. “You’re not doing anything illegal or immoral. You’re making love with a man you care deeply about.” His voice lowered. “You do care that way, don’t you?”

  Her eyes were soft, as was her voice. “You know I do.” For a minute, secure in his arms, enveloped by his scent and lost in his gaze, she was engulfed by a longing for forever. Then the minute passed and reality returned. “But you have to understand, Gideon. You’re the first man I’ve dated, really dated, in Jill’s memory, and we haven’t been doing it for long. If I suddenly have you staying the night, she’s apt to think that it’s okay to do that after a couple of dates.”

  “It is. Sometimes.”

  “She’s only fifteen!”

  “And you’re thirty-three. She’s bright enough to see the difference. It’s okay for you to be doing what we’re doing, Chris. It’s right for you to be doing it, given what you feel. You’re a passionate woman.” How well he knew. Each time they made love, she was more hungry, more aggressive. “How you kept it locked away for so long is beyond me.”

  “It wasn’t any big thing. I never wanted another man the way I do you.”

  “Not even Brant?” he couldn’t resist asking.

  “Not even Brant,” she said, and knew it was true. What she felt for Gideon, what she did with him, had nothing to do with growing up, experimenting, feeling her oats or rebelling. It had to do with mature desires and deep inner feelings. “We were young. Too young. I don’t want Jill doing what we did.”

  “You can’t put a chastity belt on her.”

  “No, but I can teach her the importance of waiting.”

  “Would you have her be a virgin at her wedding?”

  “I wouldn’t mind it.”

  “That’s unrealistic, Chris.”

  “I know. But it’s not unrealistic to encourage her to wait until someone important to her comes along. I’ve tried to teach her that lovemaking is special.”

  “It is. So why can’t you tell her that we do it?”

  “I can’t. She’ll jump to conclusions.”

  “So talk to her. Explain.”

  But Chris wasn’t ready for that. “She’s always come first in my life. She may get nervous.”

  “So you’ll talk to her more. You’ll explain more. You two are close. You talk about everything else. Why not this?”

  She wished she could make him understand. “Because it’s so basic.”

  “You’re right about that,” Gideon drawled, then grew intense. “Lord, Chris, do you know how much I want to sleep with you? Not make love. Sleep. Roll over with you tucked up against me. Wake up that way, too.”

  “And then what would happen?” she asked knowingly.

  “We’d make love.”

  “Right. With Jill in the next room, listening to the headboard bang rhythmically against the wall.”

  “So we’ll pull the bed out.”

  “The frame squeaks.”

  “I’m a handyman. I’ll fix it.”

  “You’re missing the point.”

  “So we won’t make love. I’ll just go through the rest of the day suffering silently—”

  “Gideon,” she pleaded softly, “I need time. That’s all. I need time to get Jill accustomed to a man in my life. I owe it to her, don’t you see?”

  As he saw it, she owed things to herself, too. But, then, he’d never been a parent. He’d never felt the kind of responsibility for another human being that Chris felt so keenly for Jill. Loving Chris as he did, he had to respect her feelings.

  “Okay,” he said in surrender, “then we go to plan B.”

  “Plan B?”

  “We go away together.”

  Chris was dumbfounded. “Did you hear anything I said?”

  “All three of us. Jill has school vacation coming up in two weeks. So we’ll make reservations and go somewhere together. That way, she’ll be able to get used to the idea of our being together.”

  “But that’ll be no different than having you over at the house! The same problem exists.”

  “Not if we book separate rooms.” When Chris seemed to listen at that, he went on. “You and Jill room together. I’ll have my own. We could either go north to ski or south to sun and swim.”

  Chris wanted to tell him he was crazy, except that idea wasn’t bad. In fact, the more she thought of it, the more she liked it. “Do you ski?” she asked.

  “Sure, I ski,” he answered. “I mean, I may not do my turns as neatly as I do my lay-ups, but neither do I make a fool out of myself.” He could see she was tempted. “Ever been to Stowe?”

  She shook her head against his shoulder. “Only to Woodstock, and not for skiing. Stowe is farther north. I never wanted to drive that long.”

  “Would you want to with me?”

  “I wouldn’t mind it.”

  “What about Jill?”

  “She’d be game. She’s dying to go skiing.”

  “Does she know how?”

  “Barely.”

  “No sweat. The instructors are good. Would you prefer a condo or an inn?”

  “An inn.”

  “Separate rooms?”

  She nodded.

  “Would you visit me in mine?”

  She grinned. “Maybe.”

  With a grin of his own, he slid an arm around her hips, which was where, by a stretch of the imagination, there was a touch of fullness. “Maybe?”

  “If it isn’t too hard.”

  “It’ll definitely be hard.”

  “Is that a warning,” she asked softly, “or a promise?”

  Eyes smoldering, he rolled to his back and drew her on top. His large hands cupped her head, directing her down for his kiss. It was the only answer he gave.

  * * *

  When Chris told Jill that they were going skiing, her eyes lit up. When she told her that Gideon would be coming, the light faded a little. “I didn’t know he skied,” she said with reluctant interest.

  “I didn’t, either. But he does. And he’s been to Stowe before, so he knows the good places to eat.”

  “Will we rent a condo?”

  “I thought we’d go to an inn.” She paused. “I thought you’d be more comfortable that way.”

  “Will I have my own room?”

  “We’ll share, you and me.”

  Jill seemed surprised by that, and relieved. “You’re not rooming with Gideon?”

  Chris shook her head. “I’m rooming with you.”

  “Won’t he mind?”

  “He knows that’s the way it has to be.”

  Jill considered that. “Do you wish it was different?”

  “In what sense?”

  “That you two were going away alone?”

  “Of course not. You’re my best friend.”

  “And what’s he?”

  “He’s a man I’m seeing, who I like a lot.”

  “Do you love him?”

  “You’ve asked me that before. What did I tell yo
u then?”

  “That it was too soon to ask you, but you’ve seen him a lot since then. You must have some idea what you feel. Or what you think you can feel. If we’re going skiing with him—”

  “We’re doing it because it sounds like fun.”

  “We could drive up there, you and me, just ourselves.”

  “But it was Gideon’s idea.” She gave Jill a funny look. “Weren’t you the one who felt so badly that he had to spend Christmas all by himself in a lonely house?”

  “Yeah, but this is different. This is purely voluntary. It’s my vacation time. Not his.”

  Chris felt a stab of concern. “Would you rather he not go?”

  “No. He can go.”

  “Such enthusiasm,” she teased, trying to hide her unease. “I thought you liked him.”

  “I do. And I’m glad we’re going skiing with him. I just want to know if you love him.”

  Chris thought about it for a minute before finally, truthfully, saying, “I don’t know. There are times when I think I do, but then there are so many considerations—”

  “Like what?”

  “Like whether he’s prepared to play second fiddle to you. You come first, Jill. You always have and always will.”

  “But that’s not fair to you. Maybe you want to be with Gideon. Maybe you should be with him.”

  “How would you feel if I were?”

  Jill was awhile in answering. The words were cautious when they came. “Happy for you. Happy for Gideon.”

  “And for you?”

  “Happy, too, I guess.”

  “You don’t sound convinced.”

  She looked at her hands. “I don’t know. It just takes some getting used to. I mean, I’d really like it because then you’d have things to do, yourself, and I wouldn’t feel badly leaving you home all alone.”

  Chris hadn’t realized. “Do you do that?”

  “Sometimes. But then I like knowing you’re here. I like knowing you’re waiting for me. Selfish, huh?”

  Brushing a wisp of dark hair from Jill’s cheek, Chris said, “Not selfish at all. Just a little worried. You’ve been used to one thing, and now you see the possibility of things changing. Don’t you think the idea of change frightens me, too? Don’t you think it comes into play when you ask if I love Gideon?”

  “Does it?”

  “Sure, it does. I’m used to my life, our life. I like it. I’m not sure I want anything to disturb it.”

  “But if you love Gideon—”

  “I don’t know for sure that I do, which is one of the reasons why I really want the three of us to go on this trip. If I’m going to love any man, you’ll have to feel comfortable with him—and vice versa—because no matter what else happens, I’m your mother. Always. I’ll be here for you even if I love ten guys.”

  Jill smirked. “Ten guys? Fat chance. You’re such a prude.”

  “What is that supposed to mean?” Chris asked with an indignance that was only half-feigned.

  “You haven’t even gone to bed with Gideon! I mean, look at him. He’s gorgeous. Jenny and Laura are still drooling over him. Why aren’t you?”

  “Why aren’t I drooling?”

  “Why aren’t you sleeping with him?”

  Chris swallowed. As openings went, it was perfect. Remembering the conversation she’d had such a short time before with Gideon, she knew he was right. She and Jill were close. She’d always prided herself on forthrightness. She could explain her feelings. They could talk. It was time.

  “How do you know I’m not?” she asked gently.

  While Jill didn’t jump immediately at the suggestion, she grew more alert. “When do you have time?”

  “You make time for what you want.”

  “I mean, when have you had the chance?”

  “You find chances, if you want them.”

  Jill was quiet. After a minute, she blurted out, “So have you—or haven’t you?”

  “Is it important to you to know?”

  She backed down. “Not if you don’t want to tell me.”

  “I do. I want to tell you. I want to, because some of the things Gideon and I have shared have been very, very beautiful. I’ve always told you that. With the right person, making love is precious.”

  Jill seemed suddenly shy, as though this Chris was a new and different person from the one she’d known moments before. “So you have,” she whispered.

  Chris nodded. “He is … very special.”

  “Does he love you?”

  “Yes.”

  “Do you think you’ll marry him?”

  Chris had taught her that lovemaking should be with someone special, that marriage should be with someone special. So Jill had made the connection, as the mother in Chris wanted her to. Now Chris was caught in the middle.

  “I don’t know, honey. If what I feel for him proves to be love, I might. But that would be a long way off.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I wouldn’t do anything until you went to college.”

  “Will a man like Gideon wait around that long?”

  “If he loves me enough. Maybe that’s the test.”

  “What if you get pregnant before that?”

  “Pregnant. Jill, I’ve taught you about using birth control. Don’t you think I practice it myself?” She’d seen her doctor right after New Year’s.

  “What do you use?”

  “Jill.”

  “I’m not supposed to ask that?”

  Chris closed her eyes for a second, then reached for her daughter’s hand. “Of course you can. This is new for me. That’s all.”

  “Birth control is?”

  “Telling you about my using it is.”

  “Wouldn’t you want to know what I used?”

  “Jill, you’re not—”

  “No! But if I were, wouldn’t you want me to discuss it with you?”

  “Definitely.”

  “So?”

  Chris sighed. “I got a diaphragm.”

  “Do you like it?”

  “Uh, well, uh, it’s okay, I mean, it’s safe and effective, and if you, uh, if you have to use something—”

  Jill started to laugh.

  “What’s so funny?”

  “You. You’re all red.”

  “This is embarrassing.”

  “Why? You’ve told me so many other things without getting embarrassed.”

  “This is different.” She searched for the words. “It’s like you’re my mother, but I’ve never had this kind of discussion with my mother.”

  “That’s why I came along.”

  “And the very best thing you were. I’ve never, never regretted having you, though there are times when I wished my timing had been better. There are times when I wish I could have given you a family of your own, maybe brothers and sisters.”

  “You could have more babies.”

  “Hey, I just said I was using birth control.”

  “But you could stop. Any time you wanted to. You’re young enough to have lots more kids. Does Gideon want them?”

  “I don’t know. We haven’t gotten that far.”

  “Do you?”

  “I don’t know. You’d be a pretty hard act to follow.”

  “Naturally,” Jill said with a grin.

  Chris grinned right back. “Naturally.” She took a breath. “So. What do you say? Want to go skiing?”

  * * *

  The inn was small and quaint, with six guest rooms on the second floor and two baths. If she’d wanted to be secretive, Chris would have stolen into Gideon’s room, which was down the hall from hers and Jill’s, when she was supposedly using the bathroom. But Jill would have known. Besides, she wanted more time.

  So she and Gideon returned to his room shortly after Jill had joined an afternoon ski class. Knowing that it would be three hours before she was done, they felt they had all the time in the world.

  Chris never failed to marvel at Gideon’s body, and this time was no exception. Weari
ng ski garb—navy stretch pants that clung to him like static and a lime-green turtleneck sweater that matched his navy-and-green parka—he presented the kind of figure that was regularly photographed for the pages of W. When that garb came off, though, slowly revealing broad shoulders, a lean stomach and long, long legs, he was Chris’s own very personal fantasy come to life.

  Dropping her panties onto the floor by the rest of her things, she approached him. Her hands found his shoulders, then moved down and around and back. “When we’re out on the slopes,” she said in a sultry whisper, “women do double takes when you pass. Your moves may not be studied, but you have a natural grace.” She moved closer, bringing her breasts, her belly, her thighs into contact with his. “You do this way, too,” she said. Opening her mouth on his neck, she dragged her lips over that corded column. “You are an incredible male.” Her palms chafed his thighs, moving slowly in to frame his sex.

  Gideon was sure he’d died and gone to heaven. “You make me this way,” he said. “It’s all for you.” Lowering his head, he caught her lips at the same time that he lifted her legs to his hips. He slid into her with the comfort and ease of an old lover and the excitement of a new one.

  Familiarity gave them the confidence to be inventive, and a boundless hunger gave them the fuel. Gideon loved her standing up, then sitting on the edge of the bed, then, with Chris astride, on the sheets. He paused midway to love her with his tongue until she was wild with need, then shot back into her with a speed and force that she welcomed. The quiet in the room was broken by gasps and cries. By the time those finally eased, they were both sated, their bodies slick with sweat, tangled but limp.

  “Marry me, Chris.”

  She was half-asleep. “Hmm?”

  “I want to marry you.”

  “I know,” she mumbled.

  “Will you?”

  Eyes closed, she kissed the smooth, soft spot just before his armpit. “Ask me later. Can’t think now.”

  Gideon gave her ten minutes. Then he nudged her partly awake, tipped up her face with a finger and kissed her the rest of the way.

  She grinned. “Hi.”

  “Hi, yourself.” He looked at her, then looked some more. Never in a million years would he tire of seeing her after they made love, when she was warm and wet and sensual. He had never before had the stamina to make love three or four times in a night, but he had it with Chris. She inspired him to great heights. “Are you up?”